Thursday, February 26, 2015

Fifty Shades Haters, Please Be Nice


So...you're not a fan of Fifty Shades of Grey. That's cool. I get it. In a way, I'm right there with you. Here's the thing, though. If you don't like Fifty, you don't need to be rude about it.

I rarely post about Fifty Shades of  Grey. I wasn't a ginormous fan of the books. I didn't hate them, but I didn't love them, either. If I had been the developmental editor on these books, I would have pointed out:

  • The characters don't show enough growth.
  • There is simply too much sex for sex's sake. Let's cut some of it out so the story shines.
  • The BDSM lifestyle is severely misrepresented. Let's do a bit more research.

However, I'm not a developmental editor. I'm an author. One who imagines one day achieving the kind of success E.L. James found with Fifty Shades. As such, I respect and appreciate what she's done. The books are entertaining. They aren't the worst I've ever read. There's a good story in there. What's more, she opened readers' eyes to a whole new realm of fictional possibilities and ideas. She let writers know that writing about taboo subjects wasn't so taboo, after all. She opened doors, struck chords, and gave the publishing industry a serious kick in the pants. One that was much-needed.

It is my duty as a responsible, open-minded author to examine what she's accomplished and learn from it, whether I liked the books or not. This is my profession, and to turn up my nose at another author's success smacks of jealousy and high-handedness. It reeks of publishing piety.

Here are a few facts:

  • Not everyone is going to like every book I write, but that doesn't mean my books won't be loved by others.
  • I'm not going to like every book I read, but that doesn't mean no one will like them.
  • While some people love Fifty, others don't. And that's okay. That's the nature of the business. I don't have to like Fifty Shades for it to succeed. You don't have to like Fifty Shades for  it to succeed. It HAS succeeded. Now the question is why?

I have my theories about why Fifty has been such a huge success, and I give major props to James for finding new ways to obtain publishing stardom in a world previously dominated by the Big Five. Well played, James. Well played indeed.

My point is that while I may not be a huge fan of the books, that doesn't mean I don't appreciate and respect her accomplishments, or that I have no interest in seeing the movies, or that I'm not a fan of E.L. James. She's a superstar. Bow down and pay fealty. The chick has big woman balls and did her thing. You go, girl!

Now, let's get back to those folks who aren't fans of the books, the movie, or anything associated in any way with Fifty Shades and would rather barf gravel than hear one more thing about Fifty.

As I stated earlier, I rarely post about Fifty Shades. However, when I have posted, I've noticed something disturbing that has rubbed me the wrong way. On every post I've made about Fifty, someone (or more than one someones) inevitably posts a disparaging comment. A comment that makes it clear that this person is one of those folks who is totally over Fifty and has come to hate the color grey in all its shades.

Well, I'm over the Patriots winning so many Super Bowls, but that doesn't mean they're going to stop winning, no matter how much I bitch about it. And while I may post on my own Facebook wall about my disgruntlement, or share my feelings on another person's post who feels the way I do, I don't jump on a Patriots fan's post and proselytize the merits of playing with properly inflated balls. That would be counterproductive and achieve nothing but pissing someone off and causing a big ol' fight. When I see a Patriot's fan posting and rubbing yet another Super Bowl win in the faces of opposing football teams' fans, I simply keep on scrolling, grumbling to myself about those "damn Patriots." Grrr.

My point is, I do not disrespect another person's post by posting disparaging comments on it.

With that said, I'm extremely tolerant. Almost to a fault. I usually let something go on for a long time before I stand up and say, "Okay, enough's enough." Well, I'm there.

Some of the comments that have been made on my Fifty posts have come off a bit like personal insults directed at me. Whether that was intended or not makes no difference. That was the perception. As if because I simply posted about Fifty, regardless of what I said, meant I was somehow a lower form of life in this person's eyes.

Sharing one's personal preference is one thing, but doing so on another person's post, where she's sharing her personal preference, and in a way that can be perceived as personally insulting to her, does not create warm and fuzzy feelings. It's rude and, more importantly, unnecessary, plain and simple. And it causes hurt feelings.

Yes, I've seen the posts made by those who are sick and tired and beyond ready for the Fifty Shades train to pull out of the station and follow the railroad tracks off the edge of a very flat Earth (or, if you're an Asgardian, off the jagged edge of the shattered rainbow bridge). Do I stop and point out to those people that they're missing the point? That they should consider the importance of Fifty to the publishing industry? That E.L. James, like Madonna, has done something monumental regardless of what the dissenting masses think of her? No. I keep on scrolling. Why? Because everyone is entitled to their opinion and their personal preferences, just as I'm entitled to mine.

So, next time I post about Fifty, if you don't like him, please just keep on scrolling rather than drop a disparaging comment on me. I promise, Fifty's fifteen minutes of fame will one day be over. And I have a right to be excited about seeing the movies without someone trying to diminish my excitement with less-than-nice comments.

Be kind to one another. Share smiles instead of frowns.

Until next time, peace out.

-D

37 comments:

  1. Nicely put Donya!

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  2. The haters keep on hating on social media. It is truly sad. Jealousy is ugly -no matter what form and many of EL's own contemporaries are some of the biggest haters. People hide behind the anonymity of the internet and believe they have the right to say whatever they want-no matter who is hurts.

    As for Jamie, he is playing a role....Christian Grey was an unemotional man in book one and I think Jamie pegged it-spot on. Jamie's haters -and most are because they wanted another male lead-will keep on hating regardless of Jamie's talent, looks or ability. And again, the personal attacks all come under the guise of 'free speech' and anonymity. These 'haters' will find any media post and add their 'hate' alongside others. Whether you are the intended victim of their attacks, is moot in these people's mind-all they want is their own opinion read and heard.

    Thanks for your thoughts Donya-I wish more authors would support EL James's success and not continuously crap on her success!

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    1. I guess I'm of the mind that I don't have be Fifty Shades of Crazy In Love for her books to appreciate her accomplishment and see merit in her endeavor. :)

      Oh, and Jamie was flipping hot in the movie, IMO, and I'm not a big fan of his looks. But man, did he ever embody Christian. And watching him kiss is like drinking a fine wine.

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